Michael Kuehn

Benefit Concert for Managua Christian Academy 10/30

2011-10-29T17:47:00.002-04:00

There is a great local opportunity to make a global impact this weekend! I will be playing a couple songs to open for Shelly E. Johnson, a Christian singer/songwriter from Nashville, TN. Although we weren't on campus at the same time, both Shelly and I graduated from Belmont University. It is a benefit concert for Managua Christian Academy, a school with 400+ students in Nicaragua. The school endured some severe flood damage recently, and the building has been condemned. Part of the effort for this concert is to raise awareness and support to help with a new building for these students and teachers. There is no fee to attend the concert which begins at 7pm. All the information and links can be found on the right side of this page under the "Shows" heading.

Please come out and learn about the ministry of Managua Christian Academy, help support them in their efforts to get a new building, and enjoy some great local music!

Good News

2011-10-27T18:56:00.003-04:00

"We are far worse than we would ever dare to believe." That will always be true, but its impact grew deeper and wider for me an hour ago. Driving the familiar road back to the apartment, I looked to my left at Oak Hollow Lake. The scene was stunning. The soft orange-pink of the sunset robed itself in the fall hues of the trees, placid waters below and a couple of elegant herons drifting by above. Nothing had ever felt as real as it did in that moment, it almost had gravity of its own. My soul felt filled, and I knew that this was the kind of thing we were supposed to know and enjoy for eternity. I would argue that we are still supposed to be doing that today, but have lost ourselves in the contrived importance of our days. There is nothing more important than relationship - with Creator, creation, and the created.

But I have not done that. I have not been anywhere close to that. And one last thing crossed my mind. I usually think of being saved as being rescued from this earth, that I am being directed towards heaven instead of hell. But I sense now that I have been in the grips of hell all along.

That is very good news.

A (New) Song: Out of the Deep I Call

2011-10-23T15:58:00.003-04:00

The words of Henry W. Baker's hymn "Out of the Deep I Call," have been in my head for weeks. This is a timeless hymn of confession as the words feel almost as though they could have been written this year instead of 1868. You can listen to my retuned version above and get the chord chart below.

Sir Henry Williams Baker (1821-1877) was a well-educated and highly regarded member of London's society during the 19th century. He authored many hymns and edited a collection entitled Hymns Ancient and Modern (published 1861). In addition, he also wrote a prayer book with a great title: Daily Prayers for the Use of Those Who Have to Work Hard. Today he is remembered through his beautiful hymns and honored in stained glass at his church in London as well as All Saints Notting Hill.

Off the Charts

2011-10-20T13:39:00.004-04:00

Last week our dear dog Spike went on to rest in peace. There is no doubt that he was one of the world's most unique and special animals, and that is what made him so lovable. Spike spent nearly all of his 16 years with us - traveling from Oklahoma to North Carolina, going on countless family vacations (Spike "loved" camping), cheering me on during Little League games, putting up with (or being put up with) our cats, birds, and other dogs, and teaching us about patience, good humor, and love.

Spike was not your typical pug. He acted like such a tough guy - didn't like to be picked up, not too big on cuddling, and would certainly never wear any doggie clothes. However, underneath all of that was a loving and loyal friend. One fall afternoon many years ago, one of our other dogs escaped out the front door and started trotting down the street. I took off after him so that he would not get lost or hit by a car, and it wasn't until I caught him and started my way back to the house that I realized Spike had followed right on my heels step for step the whole way. I'm pretty sure he thought I needed chasing after for protection too.

As he aged, he showed his softer side a lot easier. He went form alpha male to generally pleasant, then back to a grumpy old man, and finally spent his last few years as a wiser, slower, and more peaceful friend - a grandfather pug. He lost most his teeth, then his hearing, then his sight, then most the use of his back legs. But boy did his nose still work...and his bark. He knew within seconds when I would walk in because he knew the familiar scent of his boy. No matter how tired he was or how much pain he may have been in that day, he always got up to say hello and spend some time with me. At the vet's office on one of his last visits, my mom saw a chart comparing dog years, cat years, and human years so you could see just how old your animal was. Spike was off the chart. Apparently the makers of the sign underestimated the courage and stubbornness of our Spike. We know now that he is no longer restricted by the pains of old age, but back to being his rambunctious, curious, and pugnacious self.

Spike, you stood by me through elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and even marriage. You brought me up well, with the help of my parents of course. I will never forget you. And it is true, in more ways than anyone else could ever know, in loyalty, humor, quirkiness, stubbornness, barking, begging for food, friendship, love, and being a superb man's best friend, you were off the charts.

A (New) Song: O That I Had A Thousand Voices

2011-09-11T17:58:00.006-04:00

As I mentioned last month, I've started a new project entitled A (New) Song. The goal is to take hymns - favorites and the unfamiliar - and "update" them in some way. This could be as simple as keeping the existing melody and making it sound more modern by smoothing out or adding chords. It could also mean, as in the case of this month's hymn, keeping the words and rewriting an entirely new melody and chord progression.

This month's hymn is "O That I Had A Thousand Voices."

It was written by Johann Mentzer (1658-1734), a German pastor and theologian. The Trinity Hymnal places Psalm 126:3 on the hymn page: "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

You can listen below as well as find the chord charts. It is also a free download on myPureVolume site. God bless.

Real Key:

Capo Chords:

The Arm of the Lord is Not Too Short

2011-09-05T18:31:00.002-04:00

One word to describe this weekend: AWESOME. The mountains alone make me smile, but when you add in family, friends, music, and glass bottle Cheerwine, I get this goofy grin not even a UFC could knock off my face.

First, a huge thank you is in order to Son's Light Ministries, Holmes Convocation Center, and Selah Media Productions. The amount of time and effort they put in to the Festival is beyond comprehension - but it sure did pay off. A huge thank you also to everyone at the coffee house Saturday night and to all who came by and said hello at my table yesterday - I wish I could thank you each by name, but for fear of leaving someone out just know this means you!

Leading up to this weekend, most of what crossed my mind as I started preparing was fear. Fear of not being in perfect health, fear of not remembering songs, fear that the songs weren't even good in the first place, fear that I was being called to something I shouldn't have been, and the list goes on. What gave me comfort (mostly spoken by my wife) was the reminder that the arm of the Lord is not too short. No matter what, the will of the Lord would be done. There is nothing that any of us could do to thwart His plans. Each and every soul that came together this weekend was purposed, and I pray it was all for the glory of God.

I had a blast, and I hope you did too. It was good to hug old friends and shake hands with the new - next time you'll get a hug too. I will post some pictures of the event soon. In the meantime check out the music of everyone at the event:

Josh Wilson

7-Miles

Marshall Daniels Band

Jonny Diaz

Seventh Day Slumber

Peace.

High Country Praise Festival 2011

2011-08-20T09:59:00.003-04:00

A new show has been added!!! On September 4th I will have the honor and privilege of being the opening act at the High Country Praise Festival in Boone, NC. Every year thousands of people gather at the Holmes Convocation Center to worship God and hear the Word. There is a lot of great music, motivational speakers, food, games, and more. Tickets are only $5, so if you don't have any Labor Day weekend plans, this might be the place for you. You can buy tickets here.

It is an event sponsored in large part by Son's Light Ministries, a group of folks that have been kind enough to support me in ways too many to count. They are doing great things for the Kingdom, and so I hope you check out the website or even pay them a visit at the coffee house in Boone. It's like Cheers...even being there once everyone is sure to know your name and be glad you came.

If you make it out on Sept. 4 be sure to come by my table along the outer ring of the Holmes Center and say hello. Even if you don't, say hello anyway in your prayers.

A (New) Song

2011-08-14T18:40:00.008-04:00

I have started a new project entitled A (New) Song. It is essentially a collection of hymns that I have retuned, smoothed out, or otherwise updated. As a worship leader, it is important to be sensitive to the needs and preferences of the congregation and the worship team, and over the years that has meant lowering the key of some songs or writing out chords (and capo chords) to more difficulty harmonized hymns or even scrapping the original melody and transplanting the rich lyrics into a new melodic soil. Each month (around the 2nd Sunday) I will be posting a (new) hymn to my PureVolume website. Along with a recording, there will also be chord charts posted both here and the PV site. And the best part is, they will all be available as FREE DOWNLOADS. Please take the ones you like and share them with your congregation. I'm very excited about this ongoing project and hope that you join me in worshiping and playing - and maybe even suggesting a hymn or two you'd like to hear updated!

"Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord all the earth."

--Psalm 96:1

Change and the Unchangeable

2011-08-10T15:16:00.007-04:00

Life brings us changes on a regular basis. Sometimes the changes are small, like your favorite television show moving to a new night or another traffic light. But sometimes the changes are big, like moving to a new state or a promotion or a new member of the family. We find ourselves in a constant state of inconstancy. So where do we find stability? Who or what can we count on to help maintain our equilibrium? Or for Inception fans - what is our totem?

If we are to believe Hollywood, the answer would be ourselves. We are told to seek what we want, be ourselves, follow our hearts. Though it's hard to admit sometimes, my heart is not made of the most reliable stuff. I am fickle and inconsistent.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who

can understand it?"

--Jeremiah 17:9

If we are to believe our nation's leaders, the answer would be the government. Through programs and agencies our needs will be met, our routines regulated, and our safety made certain. But no amount of rules or committees could ever account for all of our trials and triumphs in this life. The leaders change, the beliefs change, the country changes. The government is made of fine men and women, but even the finest still have fallible hearts.

"Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot

save."

--Psalm 146:3

If we are to believe science, the answer would be the laws of nature. Gravity, inertia, angles of deflection - these things remain unchanged from the world around them. But will gravity always stand by my side? How are the raging seas of my soul to be calmed by mathematical formulas, theorems, and postulates?

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and

served created things rather than the Creator--who is forever

praised. Amen."

--Romans 1:25

There must be something greater. The things of man simply do not offer hope of the disordered becoming ordered again. Even nature, over which we have almost no mastery, does not provide us with comfort or hope for wrongs to be righted. At a time in my life when many things are changing and I'm surrounded by a lot of newness and unknown, there is but One who can provide peace.

"People swear by someone greater than themselves, and the

oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument.

Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his

purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he

confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two

unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie,

we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us

may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an

anchor for the soul, firm and secure."

--Hebrews 6:16-19a

This has been of great help to me. I hope it is for you as well. And here is one last bit easier to memorize that I hope you can keep with you throughout every step of your day:

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

--Hebrews 13:8

PureVolume Site Launched!

2011-08-01T14:57:00.002-04:00

Just a quick music update here. Starting today I have a new PureVolume site that is going to serve as my musical home base. I will still be frequenting this blog as well as my SoundCloud site (linked to your right), but the PureVolume site provides a much better online presence and musical community.

Right now both albums "Diary of a Sinner" and "Home" are streaming in their entirety as well as a few available for MP3 download. Leave comments, be my friend/fan, check the events and blog, and join the fun!

www.purevolume.com/michaelkuehn

Old Things New

2011-07-22T22:31:00.002-04:00

I spent a good bit of the night cleaning and restoring some old NES video games. It was very nostalgic, enough so that I got sucked into an hour or so of Super Mario, Mega Man, and Galaga. There was also real satisfaction in watching the blinking screen of death turn into a crisp 8-bit masterpiece. But it was the deeply spiritual aspect of it that really caught my attention.

All it took was a little love and attention and this decades old toy looked and played just like new. The old became new. It occurred to me that I may not be so different from that Pac-Man cartridge next to me. I am covered with dirt and grime again and again, day after day, but with God's love and attention I am washed clean and made new. And let us not forget He crafted us out of dirt in the first place. All around us we can see the hand of our Creator being the Sustainer and Restorer of all things. So we join the band Gungor in a prayer of praise and adoration:

"You make beautiful things out of the dust."

Amen.

A Little Reframing

2011-07-14T18:34:00.004-04:00

Conversations are not always the best places for self-discovery. We have all uttered a few sentences that made us stop and think, "wow, do I really feel that way?" or "I had no idea that's what I wanted." It can be rather embarrassing at times. While the feelings and thoughts may have been there all along, it was not until your larynx vibrated the words out past your lips into the air that you could really understand. But when your conversation partner is a good friend, it can be a refreshing and liberating experience. I had such an experience this week.

Most of you know that graduate school is the general direction in which I've been heading. Granted "headed" there is a vague term reminiscent of Island Time, but heading there nonetheless. A lot of progress has been made on the what, where, and why, so it feels more like just a matter of when. In talking with a dear friend, it occurred to me that there were two ways to frame the timeline in my mind. The first, which is how I viewed it up until recently, is that everything I am doing right now is merely the in between until graduate school arrives. It takes a lot of time, money, and energy to do graduate work, and so it is natural to have a few years of preparation. By having this perspective, I felt the need to qualify my current life situation by saying, "...that's what I'm doing now before I start graduate school." Then the conversation would shift to all the great things I was going to do and study.

Now I see things a bit differently, which leads us to perspective #2. I realized that everything I am involved in - for work or play - is comprised of the very things I am passionate about and are within my skill set. What I should be focused on is engaging the things I find right in front of me, entering into the work and community in which I've been planted. These things are real things, not just meantime things. Graduate school will come when it comes, if it ever does. I'm okay with that sentence now. God has brought me here from where He has led me, and He will lead me forward into the next step. And I would do well to pay attention to the tasks as hand for they are the very things that will shape me into what I'm becoming.

A lot of people are at a crossroads right now, and I hope there is some encouragement in this for where you are. Look up from the map you've drawn for your life and see the place where God has brought you. You might be surprised how beautiful it is.

Musicophilia

2011-04-21T08:15:00.002-04:00

I am a lover of music. I love everything about it. From the simple summertime windows-down pop song to the intricate, beautiful complexity of the masters in their craft, it captivates me. My knowledge and collection grows constantly, and I hope that growth continues each day even into the everlasting, where music is sure to be at its finest. There is so much to my relationship with music that I'm not even sure I could put words to it. But every once in a while, something specific jumps out to me. This morning I was struck by Truth in an unlikely place.

I love when secular music gets it wrong. (I don't particularly like the phrase "secular music," but it will work for this purpose). When a song starts down a road that is contrary to my convictions, sometimes it can be frustrating, uncomfortable, or in extreme cases, offensive. But there are other times when it actually strengthens my faith and helps to solidify my thoughts. Take this line from a Desaparecidos song:

"And it reads just like the Bible

Twenty centuries of scandal

Yeah, it all depends on how you interpret it"

I still smile when I think about it. The truth of something is not dependent on our evaluation of it. No matter how much I convince myself that gravity is a myth, the fact remains that gravity is very, very real. That thought gets rooted deeper into my daily life the more I hear this song. And that leads me into worship. I rejoice that God's ways are not my ways and that His thoughts are not my thoughts. No matter how crazy life gets, I can trust in the Truth of Scripture.

I also love when secular music gets it right. Part of me believes that secular artists have a better perspective on the human condition and the human experience than Christian artists. Perhaps there is a pressure on Christian artists to constantly watch what they say. Nonetheless, I often benefit from the insights of secular artists and believe it valuable due to the common grace extended to us all. Take this excerpt from an Ani DiFranco song as an example:

"But as bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact

That I'm worse than I seem.

What kind of paradise am I looking for?

I've got everything I want, and still I want more..."

The first two lines remind of just how big of a sinner I am. It brings to mind a quote I once heard (forgive me for any inaccuracy): "Cheer up - you're worse than you think. And you're loved more than you know." I don't think I'm proud of that, but there is an element of humility to the realization that I am worse than I seem. I can put on a happy face with the best of them, but the truth is my heart is nowhere near the condition required by God. And there is so much joy in the fact that the blood is enough to even cover that. The second two lines are quite familiar as well. Satisfaction is often elusive, which is something I am working to correct. Not only are those lines a comment on my greed and attitude, but they urge me to seek out the One who Satisfies. My prayer is that the Lord continues to draw me into Himself, and that He might do the same for Ani.

The Lord can work through everything. I believe this is just one of a bajillion ways He speaks into my life through my love of music. I pray that whatever things captivate you in life are filled with things to strengthen your faith and markers of the Eternal.

Stuff Happens When You Do Stuff

2011-04-10T22:25:00.004-04:00

Firstly, I am now officially over 100 plays on SoundCloud!!! I greatly appreciate all of the folks who have spared a few minutes to listen. Local music is made possible by local people. Part of the hope is that my songs are the first part of a longer conversation, so please feel free to comment on this blog or on the songs so we might fulfill perhaps the greatest end of art: community.

I also wanted to be sure and say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who came to see Hazel's photography and hear Zoo and I play - especially given the extra driving to the "back-up venue." Although things didn't quite go according to schedule, I felt the evening was fun and hope we can do it again sometime. Be sure to check out Zoo and Joe Next Door.

That night got me thinking about a lot of things. It made me want to play out a lot more for one thing. I really only play a handful of times a year, and with how much fun it is, I ought to increase that number. The night also renewed my sense of adventure. A friend and I have started using the phrase: Stuff happens when you do stuff. While it is a rather unremarkable sentence, it still has significance. The bottom line is that if you spend all your time isolated in a life-sucking routine, you don't experience existing and this adventure that is your lifespan. So when the night gave us one curve, we adjusted and took action. Everything turned out just fine in the end, and we all got to experience a wonderful evening of the arts. We did stuff, and stuff happened. Just yesterday Hazel and I took a trip down to Charlotte just to have a fun Saturday. As we were driving, we saw a sign for Mallard Creek Church Road, and then promptly saw a Mallard flying down to what looked like a small creek with a paved walkway. So we exited the interstate and tried to find it. We never did, but we did stumble upon the Reedy Creek Nature Center and got a chance to walk around and see some beautiful scenery. While we must always use the brains God gave us to make the best decisions, that doesn't mean we don't set out to blaze a trail every once in a while. Being with friends, supporting local art, going with the flow...that is a beautiful thing. Do yourself a favor: do stuff...because stuff happens.

Grace Arts Community Outing

2011-04-07T10:59:00.002-04:00

The Grace Arts Community (GAC) is a group focused on participating in creative opportunities by sharing individual art, facilitating artistic discussion, and attending community performances/exhibits. This Friday April 8, there is an excellent opportunity to join GAC in supporting local art and to make some new friends.

Hazel Ellis, my fiance, has two photographs on display in a gallery in the WFU Medical Center. After we go to view the gallery, we will be heading over to Cafe Roche where my good friend Zoo and I will be playing some songs. Come on out to one or both and enjoy a fun night. Info is on the right of the screen.

Resolution Progress - Month 3; "Scales"

2011-03-31T11:26:00.003-04:00

March proved to be another successful month in my reading journey. Here's the progress:

C of N: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - Lewis

The Great Typo Hunt - Jeff Deck and Benjamin Herson

In the Beginning, God - Marva Dawn (in progress)

I'll start with the second first. Typo Hunt was an absolutely amazing story. Jeff Deck writes with so much personality and wit that his journey starts to feel like your own, or at least makes you want to go on your own. I highly recommend it for someone looking for a fairly light-hearted read with some humor and an occasional deep thought.

Dawn Treader impacted me more than Prince Caspian, but I am certain that a lot of imagery and meaning was lost on me this first time around. My two favorite parts were the ending with the bright light and sweet water, and the part with Eustace being turned into a dragon. The latter inspired a song I'd like to share with you. The lyrics are below, and the song can be heard just below those. I hope you enjoy.

Scales

I can hardly recognize this heart of sin

These are not my hands, this is not my skin

How I came to be this way I'm not too sure

I'm looking for some hope, hoping for a cure

I want to see, a change in me

One by one the scales they fall

But underneath there's more

I need sharper claws than mine

To reach down to the core

I'm sorry for the things I have been

I just want to be a boy again

I slip deeper in this cave to hide my shame

No one knows this face, let alone my name

But with each day I just feel more and more alone

I miss my friends, I miss my home

Who can call me out of the dark?

And pierce this armor right down to my heart?

Chorus

Your breath has filled my lungs

I thought I could breathe on my own

You dig down to my soul

Undressing me right down to the bone

Cast me into the waves

So that they can wash me clean

The stinging that's on my skin

Tells me that I'm alive again

Gone are the tears and all of the pain

As I wrap my fingers in your mane

And one by one the scales they fell

And under there's no more

You've got sharper claws than mine

That reached down to the core

Forgiven for the things I have been,

You let me be a boy again

Scales by Michael Kuehn

Where You lead me...

2011-03-29T10:18:00.002-04:00

As we watch life come back to the empty branches and fields, it seems something is blooming in me. Borders in Greensboro is closing its doors, which simply means that - along with a couple dozen others - I would no longer have a job there. After some serious conversations with important people, prayer, and reflection, I decided to leave before the official closing date and embark on an adventure in cultivating the expressions of my soul. Let me unpack that a bit:

Since high school, I have been writing music, short stories, poetry, etc., and always knew that somehow writing would be a part of my life. Then in college, I started writing more academically, and had dreams of publishing Christian articles/books as part of my contribution to the continuous conversations we should be having about God and our faith. So, in short, I'm going to try to do that. For two weeks I have tried to do as much preliminary stuff as I needed to so that when I left Borders I could jump right in. Although it is proving more difficult than I anticipated (hence me writing a blog post and not an academic article), I will not be swayed so easily.

Yesterday I realized that a year and a half ago, God called me into the position at Borders. I was quite vocal about the times it felt like a terrible idea, and humbled by the times it positively impacted my life. There were many days I wanted to walk out the doors and never come back, pull some kind of JetBlue stunt. But I guess I was resolved to remain until I felt called to something else. A company filing bankruptcy may not officially be a sign from God, but it certainly was a little push to hear His voice more clearly. So now I feel called to something different, and I will continue with that until I feel called to something else. It is very scary to not have that income, especially in the midst of a lot of other life changes and transitions, but somehow I have peace and perseverance to see where this goes. There will be plenty of updates on my progress or lack thereof (as well as my book progress which you will be updated on at the end of the week so check back). Anyway...back to work...

Where You lead me, I will follow.

Expecting the Least Expected

2011-03-18T08:12:00.002-04:00

During my senior year in college, we had a departmental gathering where the seniors and professors enjoyed a meal together followed by a time for conversation. That night is something I will treasure forever. It makes me giddy just remembering it. We had a vague theme for the night, "Accidental Roads," and each professor shared a little bit of their journey through college, seminary, careers, etc. The wisdom and insight they shared is as fresh in my mind as it was that night. The common thread in their stories, which matched the theme, was that they all had an experience which (seemingly) altered their direction. Here is a brief example: Dr. Curtis was set to graduate from seminary when he was told he would be one credit short. Although frustrated, he knew he could just take a course in the summer and graduate in August. So he scanned the summer course catalog for what sounded the easiest and allowed him the most time to play golf. What he chose was a course on pastoral care. Little did he know that the course required a nearly full-time schedule of chaplaincy hours at the local hospital. He didn't play much golf that summer, but he did discover what he wanted to do for the next several years of his life. Dr. Curtis teaches Spiritual Formation, Pastoral Care, classes on dealing with grief and death, and gave me my first opportunity to experience chaplaincy firsthand. Never in a million years would he have been able to anticipate the accidental road life sent him on, but it was his road nonetheless, fulfilling the desires of his heart.

I fear that I am too in tune with this particular type of phenomenon. It seems that any time something new happens in my life, my mind instantly jumps to, "Maybe this is the thing that turns life upside down and shows me my true calling." It ranges from big events to small ones, like yesterday when I bought a biography of Isaac Newton. On the way home I thought, "This sounds like one of those events...I buy the book because it sounds cool, then I fall in love with Newton and physics, go back to college, get a physics degree and work in science the rest of my life!" It feels like a mental condition I should be able to take pills for. Then I fall into more fear that if I guess it, then it's not an unsuspected thing, and therefore won't happen. I hear them readying the straight jacket now...

I am so eager to do the work that God has prepared for me. I firmly believe that I am in the place I am in for many reasons, and one day I will see how some of it played out and be amazed at His Hand. Looking intently is not bad I suppose, so long as it doesn't make you miss the experience of the present.

Jan: Television Corporate Executive or Spiritual Counselor?

2011-03-09T14:16:00.006-05:00

It was one of those days where you wake up with a headache that never really goes away, you have a lot of things on your to do list, and you're pretty sure getting out of bed was your first mistake. Maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but it certainly had that feeling at the time. Between the end of one job and the start of the next, I found myself with about an hour to catch my breath. I fell face first into the couch, fumbled about for the television remote, and scanned channels until I stopped on an episode of The Office. The women of Dunder Mifflin were all in the conference room with Jan (though I'm not sure why since I joined the program already in progress), and Michael had taken the men down to the warehouse for some sort of wacky bonding experience. Jan asked each woman to say something they feel they are good at, and when it was Pam's turn, she said she was good at art and would like to get back into it. Jan mentioned a program that the company offered on graphic design based out of New York. There was a back and forth between Jan and Pam with the former pushing the program and the latter giving reasons/excuses why it wouldn't work. Jan was being unusually supportive and helpful, but Pam was very reluctant and unsure. Finally, Jan cut Pam off in mid-sentence and said,

"There's always a million reasons not to do something."

In some ways I hear that conversation happening between my head and my soul. I feel moved by a variety of different work, but all of it requires a risk - sometimes financial, sometimes emotional, sometimes my pride. So my soul screams out for me to step out in faith, but my head rattles off a list of reasons why it is too scary, too risky. Too often my passions are restrained by the fear of failure. Could there be a way to set aside my need to make everything fit into a nice logical box and just set free my ideas and creativity to see what happens? At some point everything we know as commonplace started as a radical new idea. How did they face the opposition? How did they have the courage to take the risk? To simply show up and see what happened?

From my own feelings and the thoughts of those close to me, it seems that taking that leap would be better done sooner than later. Either way I feel my courage and faith growing, and though my fears remain strong, they are losing their prominence in my heart. Maybe it is not, "How can I take such a risk?" But perhaps it is more, "How can I risk not knowing?"

Several years ago I captured this feeling as best I could in a song entitled "You of Little Faith." It is based on Matthew 14:22-33. Perhaps if the above made little sense, this will help. Peace be with you.

You of Little Faith by Michael Kuehn

Resolution Progress - Month 2

2011-03-04T08:01:00.002-05:00

Things continue to move in the right direction, by which I mean I am still reading. February brought some challenges with it, but I am proud to say I have not abandoned my goals as it is so easy to do in the second month. Here is what happened in month two:

C of N #2: Prince Caspian

The Echo Within - Robert Benson

C of N #3: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (in progress)

I did not enjoy Prince Caspian as much as I had anticipated, but in the last few weeks it has grown on me. What helped to make that shift was primarily doing some reading up on the imagery and allowing time for further reflection. I have really started to identify with the way Lewis doesn't simply allow his characters to instantly become leaders, and consequently they do not immediately exhibit the appropriate character traits in times of need. It takes many years for leaders to be made, and I am appreciating that more in my own life, and thus have enjoyed the process for those in Narnia.

Some of you may wonder if this will become a Lewis/Benson project instead of reading a variety of things, but I have an explanation. See, Robert Benson is one of my favorite authors, and I also happen to have a slightly personal connection to him which I may explain further in a future post. Actually, I know I will because he has another book on my list, so when I read that one I promise to explain. But his two books I have read this year have just happened to be on subjects I felt appropriate to start off with. The first was on prayer, which I wanted to read because it is fundamental to our lives. The next, The Echo Within, is about vocational calling. I think it was appropriate to read about prayer first, so that when it came time to really think on vocation, I would be better equipped with deeper (and more frequent) communication with God. As I try to digest all that was said, one thing is very clear: vocation is about being alive and being present. It reads a lot like a memoir or autobiography with some broader conclusions and suggested tasks sprinkled along the way. I love the way he writes, and I love the way he thinks. Although I don't feel like he revealed some huge secret about vocation, I do feel that I can better think and discuss the subject, and I have a positive attitude and greater faith that God will see things through to their ultimate good completion.

So far in Dawn Treader I am ashamed to say that I have identified with Eustace quite a bit. That's enough revealing information for one post. Wish me luck in the third month.

You can also follow my progress through goodreads, a great website that allows you to have a personal virtual library. Just search for my name and ask to be my friend, then you can see how far along I am on the current book of choice, see updates to my reading lists, and just have an all around great time. Hope to see you there.

Moments

2011-02-22T21:59:00.004-05:00

Every once in a while a moment happens. It's a smell, a place, a shirt, a song. Things that were become as real as the things that are, and you are drawn into them, or perhaps overtaken by them. Inside these fleeting moments we are reminded of where we have been, the obstacles we have overcome, and the way things used to be. I have come to know these moments as sacred. Nearly all of the events of my life are in the past, so when the present calls out to the depths of my soul and draws forth these memories, I consider it very significant. The best we can do at any given time is live out of all that we hold true within. And what we have within is the truth of what we have lived, the people we have known, the places we used to go. These sacred moments beg us to listen to our lives; they are trying to remind us of our story.

A moment happened to me not long ago. Flooded with sights, smells, and feel of things that I used to know, I became still, silent. Some moments bring hope and strength. Mine was the other kind, the ones that are a brief personal funeral for what was and never can be again. It was a time when things were better. That is not to say that things have been worse from that point on, but that they will not be the same. I was overtaken by the faces of people I will never see again, though they did not say goodbye, by the images of places where I used to be known, by the unmistakable feeling that I am older now and that "how it used to be" will forever remain in these moments, and in these moments alone. As sad as these things can be, I still consider them sacred. To lose sight of that is to lose sight of me, my story, and my future. We must lean into the changes, embrace the tragic gap between ending and beginning again, and listen intently to the echoes of our souls.

Resolution Progress - Month 1

2011-02-02T21:29:00.002-05:00

One month into my decision to read the Chronicles of Narnia (and a few others along the way), I can confidently say that I have made good progress. Here is the list and current status:

C of N #1: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis

In Constant Prayer - Robert Benson

A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson

C of N #2: Prince Caspian (in progress)

I'm not sure I have actually ever completed three books in one month, so I'm really rather proud. Reading LW&W was good, but it is the one I know the most. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the series since they are essentially brand new stories to me.

Benson's book focused primarily on the notion that we are to "pray without ceasing." His personal and honest style of writing made it very accessible and a delightfully enriching read. Benson heavily suggests that we turn to the ancient tradition of the Divine Office, or Liturgy of the Hours, in order to work towards constant prayer. Loved it.

Bill Bryson is the author of some hilarious travel books, including A Walk in the Woods and In a Sunburned Country. However, Short History... is a dense exploration of what we believe the universe to be made of, who helped us get to that place, the science involved and how it was invented, and where perhaps we are headed. I may post another blog entirely on this book because it really got some stuff bouncing around in my noggin. Worth a look if you have a stomach for that kind of thing.

For now I hope to keep up the pace in February and get through a couple more. In unrelated news, I'm going to build furniture. That's all for now. Goodnight.

The Engagement

2011-01-13T22:59:00.002-05:00

Just a little over three and a half years ago, Hazel and I were standing under a sunset sky in a park in her High Point neighborhood. We sat on the swings, talked about a variety of things, and I taught her to dance under the emerging stars. In between shy glances and mildly flirtatious banter, I think it is safe to say we both fell head over heels for the other. I was charming, she was beautiful. A more perfect night had never been known. That night we decided to officially become a couple.

Fast forward to January 11, 2011. My work and her classes were cancelled due to the inclement weather. So I told her I would take her to lunch, but first I wanted to truly have a snow day by throwing snowballs and the like. After cleverly guiding the conversation towards my ultimate goal, we decided to go to that very same park where it all began, and she had no suspicions of my intentions aside from indulging the little boy I still am inside. As I wandered around the park turning the ring box over and over again in my pocket, she snapped photos of the winter wonderland, and eventually of me. Not being one to turn down a good photo shoot, I put on my best GQ face and started posing. "How about this?" I said. "And this? Oh and this one!" Finally, I turned and faced her and said, "One more...," while pulling the ring from my pocket, "How about this?" A few pictures were snapped just as she looked up from the viewfinder. This was no camera trick. First a gasp of disbelief, soon followed by a sweet squeal of joy, and then a loving embrace. Posing turned to proposing. Taking pictures turned into a picture perfect moment. "Three years and seven months ago," I whispered, "we stood here and danced and decided to be a couple. Now, in this exact same spot, we can mark the next step in our adventure."

I was still charming. And she was, and is, more beautiful than ever. I dare say that day was more perfect than that night years ago. Though we know not where this adventure leads, it is by faith and love that we walk together with confidence in the plans the Lord has for us.

Setting Goals

2010-12-28T20:19:00.002-05:00

The time of year is fast approaching when about 45% of Americans suddenly find the resolve to lose weight (I give it two weeks max). To others, it is simply known as New Year's Day. While it never has been about losing weight, I too have made resolutions and found myself midway through January trying to recall what they were and why I thought they were a good idea in the first place. However, in the course of living 2010 I have had some very real success in achieving goals I set in the latter part of the year. I owe a lot of that success to a very close friend of mine, and he too has had success with his goals which I would like to think has something to do with our conversations. Recently, he submitted to me some new goals for 2011, and I was inspired to do likewise. At present, I have only a couple, but I still have three days to make more decisions. Here is what I have come up with:

I am going to read The Chronicles of Narnia. For the first time, ever. I know, I know, I know...how could I have lived this long and never read them? I'm not too sure, but that streak ends here. To add some balance to my reading list, I am going to read a book I have been wanting to read in between each Narnia book. For example, after The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, I am going to read In Constant Prayer by Robert Benson, and then read Prince Caspian. I'm excited.

Also, I received a very intriguing book for my birthday called Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals. To be perfectly honest, my prayer life is atrocious. It is nearly an offense to even use the term "prayer life." One major goal for 2011 is to fix that, or, ask God to help me fix that. Common Prayer is a devotional as well as a collection of prayers an liturgy. I intend to read it daily and seek maturity in faith and as a believer through daily prayer and meditation.

Merry Christmas to everyone; I hope it was beautiful. Say farewell to 2010 responsibly and in style, and I'll see you on the other side.

Wisdom

2010-12-12T22:37:00.002-05:00

During the sermon this morning, I read Proverbs 12. Understand that I heard most of the sermon on Genesis 17 (one of my favorite parts in the life of Abraham), but I did have some supplemental material that drew my interest. Why chapter twelve? Well, I had a teacher in high school who used to start off our class reading the chapter of Proverbs that corresponded to the day of the month. He suggested that as a great way to learn them and internalize the wisdom they contained, especially since the number of chapters nicely fit in with our monthly calendar system. So the urge to do just that welled up in me during the service.

As I read each couplet, I tried to take my time "chewing" on it and let it's wisdom flavor dance on the taste buds of my brain. Themes of wisdom, prudence, the righteous vs. the wicked, and language showed up the most. While I read about the just plans of the righteous juxtaposed with wicked advice (v. 5), or the righteous caring for the needs of their animals (v. 10), or fools being quick to show their displeasure at a comment (v. 16), something occurred to me for what I believe to be the very first time. I came to the realization that wisdom has less to do with the mind than one might expect. We are quick to associate wisdom with brain-knowledge, yet it is the heart where wisdom gets its depth. The author doesn't suggest that the wise are such because of their GPA or logical reasoning abilities. Instead, there is considerable evidence that wisdom is cultivated by a compassionate heart. I might go so far as to say that wisdom is the product of a healthy mature balance of head-knowledge and heart-knowledge. The verse that drove that point home for me was v. 18:

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords

but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

How could words bring healing? Only by the resonance of compassion and love within the heart, that makes its way to the throat, where it is packaged in perfect language that rolls off the tongue as Truth.

Being wise is not just discernment or critical thinking. Wisdom is not data and factoids. It is brokenness and healing. It is head and heart. It is the surrender of our own frail frameworks for the eternal sound strength of the Word.

Christmas for a Cause, pt. 2

2010-12-05T20:30:00.009-05:00

The Christmas for a Cause event was a great success last night. There were a lot of great musicians and singers, as well as a couple of highly inspirational speakers. The one and only Trevor did a great job putting things together and showing off his fancy lights. Here are a couple pics:

My friend Brandon and his wife Leslie doing a beautiful version of "What Child is This?"

The awesomeness that is Trevor:

And me with the sweet Christmas decorations:

My previous post explained the background to the song and gave you the lyrics, and so now you can hear it since it has already had its world premiere. But last night wasn't just about singing and being with friends. Christmas for a Cause is really a great organization and because of everyone who came last night, they are helping to make sure that kids in Watauga county have food to eat. I hope this song helps you remember what Christmas is all about, and that you could consider how you could serve or give to your communities to help someone's Christmas be as joyful as yours.

Special thanks to M. Rhoades for pointing me towards SoundCloud. You rock.

Emmanuel by Michael Kuehn

Christmas for a Cause

2010-12-04T10:57:00.002-05:00

Tonight is going to be awesome. Of course, every time I go up to Boone it is an absolutely amazing time, but I have an extra good feeling about tonight. I'll be sharing the stage with some super talented people in an effort to raise money for Christmas for a Cause, a wonderful organization that has helped thousands and thousands of people. So tonight we will gather and sing Christmas songs, have coffee and hot chocolate, and share the joy of the season as a community. As part of this, I was asked to write an original Christmas song. While at first everything I wrote came out cheesy, the writing process ultimately took me on a journey to discover what about Christmas really captures my heart and soul. Here is a little background on the song's inspiration and the lyrics.

At the bookstore where I work, we have little circular signs that sit atop the typical genre signs (the ones that tell you "Fiction" or "Psychology"). On the circles there is a snowflake design and a single word that is intended to make you think of Christmas. The words are things such as "Joy" and "Inspire" and "Give." While at work one day, it occurred to me that for a large percentage of the population, those words are nothing more than abstract ideas. They are linked to an emotional response, and somehow that is synonymous with the Spirit of Christmas. But those words mean so much more. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of our King; the Incarnation. God is love. God is joy. God is inspiration. God is peace. God is giving. The list goes on and on. With the birth of Jesus, God incarnate, these abstract ideas became incarnate as well. Jesus is the perfect embodiment of all the sentiments we hear this time of year. When that concept clicked with me, I knew that was what my song had to be about. The verses deal with the struggle we have as modern Americans to keep our focus on the true meaning of Christmas despite all the hoopla and media. The chorus reflects the reality of the Incarnation, both God and His attributes. Then there is a single line repeated several times that reminds us of one of my favorite names for God: Emmanuel, meaning "God is with us." The child, our Savior, has come to dwell with us, to "tabernacle" with us. Let us rejoice. Here are the lyrics for my first ever attempt at a Christmas song, "Emmanuel."

The sights and the sounds

The lights and the crowds

It must be Christmas again

All this good cheer

Talk of a new year

What is this Christmas again?

It's more than just gifts, it's the gift of a King

The Savior was born and changed everything

Joy has a face now

And mercy a name

There's love in His lungs

And grace in His veins

Lift up your voices on this Christmas morn

For unto us a child is born

It's easy to let

Yourself just forget

Why this is Christmas at all

The Lord has come

In the flesh, as a Son

From the throne to a cattle stall

It's more than good cheer, it's all of our praise

Our Redeemer has come to love, to free, to save

Joy has a face now

And mercy a name

There's love in His lungs

And grace in His veins

Lift up your voices on this Christmas morn

For unto us a child is born

Emmanuel, God with us

Joy has a face now

And mercy a name

There's love in His lungs

And grace in His veins

Lift up your voices on this Christmas morn

For unto us a child is born

Creative Constipation

2010-10-20T14:16:00.002-04:00

Ever feel like you have a lot of great ideas, but are fearful that they will never come to fruition? Sometimes I wish there was a company that specialized in idea refining. All they would need is a building, some smart people, and a few white boards. Then a person could walk in, spill their guts about a certain idea they've had floating around in their heads, then the specialist would tell them how good their idea is. If it stunk, they would say, "Sorry bud, probably not worth the time and effort, come back next week with something better." Or if it was brilliant: "Wow. That has a lot of great potential. Let's draw up some preliminary steps we can take to get the ball rolling. First, let's define......" That would help out a lot, because everything sounds like the next best thing when it's in my head. I think of it, I develop it, I judge it, I anticipate stellar responses, I then become ridiculously famous. But as soon as the idea slips past my lips and someone else hears it, that's a whole different ball game. The good news however, is that peer review and collaboration leads to much better ideas. There are a lot of great projects out there ready to be launched. Still, even if I found out my idea was great and would be successful, there's no guarantee that I would have the discipline, energy, or smarts to follow through. Sigh.

Reclaiming the Diversity of Spiritual Practice

2010-10-15T22:59:00.003-04:00

Recently, there was an article posted by Dr. Albert Mohler on his blog that discussed Christian participation in the practice of yoga. He cites Stefanie Syman's book The Subtle Body: The Story of Yoga in America as being a "masterpiece of cultural history," and uses it as support for his comments on the issue. Mohler seems primarily concerned with educating Christians on the origins of yoga, which he then states is completely incompatible with Christianity. His stance on the issue is made most clear in this quote: "When Christians practice yoga, they must either deny the reality of what yoga represents or fail to see the contradictions between their Christian commitments and their embrace of yoga." Mohler fears syncretism and warns against a "'post-Christian, spiritually polyglot' reality."

Not long after its original posting, the Associate Press picked up on the post, and wrote an article that found its way onto the Yahoo news feed, as well as the front page of Greensboro's own News & Record. That article shed a little more light on Mohler's thoughts by highlighting a criticism and Mohler's response: "Mohler said many people have written him to say they're simple doing exercises and forgoing yoga's eastern mysticism and meditation. 'My response to that would be simple and straightforward: You're just no doing yoga,' Mohler said." In addition, Mohler himself wrote a second blog responding to the major publicity.

Let's pause there a second. My first objection at the time I first read the AP article, was what is the issue? At first it seemed to be any and all things yoga and Christians associating with it, but then the last bit about exercise made it seem like it was okay if people didn't fully participate in yoga. So are they just to call it something else? Is this all just an exercise in categorical titles? The tone in his blog posts told me otherwise. The posts are accusational, presumptuous, and condescending. While I originally intended to write this entire post rebutting his points, I find that John Mark Reynolds does a superb job in his article, found here. (Thanks to Randy for sending me that link.) Instead, I wish to highlight something that is lurking beneath the surface.

Our world today favors energetic, outgoing, technologically savvy people. In a globalized economy, business happens fast and it is constant, and so businessmen and businesswomen must be swift and consistently attentive to their jobs. Those who lag behind are beat out by their competitors. The church favors the same sorts of people. It likes the people who engage in small groups, youth groups, Sunday school, mercy ministry, children's ministry, picnics, Bible study, church meetings, etc., etc., etc. There is a major problem with this, and I would argue especially in the conservative Christian community. Believers are encouraged to go to church and the programs it offers, read the Bible, pray, and keep a journal. At least those are the four things I was told to do for my spiritual life, and I have a hunch that many of you have had similar experiences. Other practices (i.e., meditation, walking labyrinths, creation care activities, yoga, chanting, etc.) are often associated with liberal Christianity. Let's face it, liberal Christianity has adopted buzzwords like "progressive," "ecumenical," and "forward-thinking," and the rest of the world agrees. Why? I believe it is because the people are allowed to be themselves and to explore a spiritually diverse world.

In the October 2010 issue of Psychology Today, Dr. Laurie Helgoe reports that 50% of Americans are introverts. 50%!!! Why doesn't our culture reflect that statistic? Why doesn't our church culture reflect that statistic? Instead, we are asked to go out, get plugged in, get connected, meet more people, do more things, do do do, go go go. The truth is, there is so much more in a spiritual life than that. Jesus Himself is recorded as having withdrawn from the masses on plenty of occasions. There is a real need for solitude, silence, meditation, reflection. Why wasn't my good friend who loves to just ponder told about the guided meditations that are out there? Why wasn't he told about the desert fathers and mothers of the Christian faith? Why wasn't my girlfriend who loves animals and nature told about St. Francis of Assisi and his sermons to the birds? Why wasn't she encouraged to see that as connecting with God and the living Word of Creation? Why wasn't I told about the musical traditions of our rich Christian history? Why were we asked to join a 300 member strong youth group instead? Right now, the far left of Christianity are welcoming these things with open arms, and perhaps too loosely, leaning towards syncretism. But on the other side, people like Dr. Albert Mohler are publicly criticizing a large Christian demographic and drawing lines in the sand. Who feels loved by that? His comment of, "These people get bent out of shape fast" (emphasis mine) really caught my attention. These people? That is instant "us and them" talk. In the AP article: "I'm really surprised by the depth of the commitment to yoga found on the part of many who identify as Christians." Who identify as Christians?!?! I can think of an infinite number of BETTER ways to approach this issue.

But this is only one example of who conservative Christian churches, leaders, and other communities are failing believers all across America and even the world. We have got to reclaim this rich myriad of spiritual practice. It can be done Biblically, theologically, and for the spreading of the Gospel. We have to be willing to engage culture in a way that is accepting, open, and loving without compromising the integrity of Scripture and doctrine. There are millions of people searching, yearning for a personal spiritual life, and the sad part is that many are already in church every Sunday. We cannot force people into spiritual activity that blatantly conflicts with their personality. God desires to know us, not as a human race, but as individuals. Mohler is right on one thing: spiritual practice should never become the end in itself, we should always be focused on Jesus. But I believe there is a lot of freedom in how that relationship develops and is sustained.

This is my stand. I will not allow comments like this to permeate the airwaves, printing press, and cyberspace and alienate millions of believers. Please join with me in reclaiming the lost spiritual practices that can help bring the other half of America into deeper relationship with Christ. Help me reach those who dread being called on in a Bible study. Help me reach those who aren't fueled by social gatherings. There is a place for every single type of person in the Kingdom, so let's stop closing doors and start opening conversation. I don't know exactly how it will look, but it's starting now. Who better than me and you? What better time than now?

Thank you Al Mohler for the inspiration you have given me. I know this probably isn't what you intended, but the Lord works in mysterious ways.

Make friends. Make music.

2010-10-12T22:25:00.002-04:00

We all know that daily schedules are filled to the brim and then some. But occasionally, there are a few spare moments the find their way into our hectic routines. In those moments, I get ecstatic and then almost instantly frustrated because I realize at that moment that I have the opportunity to do any of the things I have been telling myself I wanted to get to all week, and ultimately end up feeling too tired to do them. It's a moment of "Yes! I can finally take a moment and ____." Followed by, "All I really want to do is sleep," or even worse, "There's too many things I want to do to choose from, so I won't do any." Perhaps I should keep a Top Ten list handy. That way I can go right to number one even when I am in an exhausted stupor and too tired to think straight.

Atop that list would probably be this new idea for a band that I have. It's been brewing for quite some time, and I have put the idea out there to only a few people, so I wanted to give a quick overview to those out there in cyberspace. So here goes...

In my music library (which I am proud to say is quite diverse and over 500 strong), I have found that there are only a few artists who produce beautiful, captivating music, while utilizing advanced music theory. A lot of artists are either four chords but catchy, or complex and so far into left field it can give you a headache. But there are some who live comfortably in the middle of the venn diagram and provide us music nerds with something intricate and theoretically rich, while taking your mind, heart, and soul on melodic journeys that get you humming and tapping your feet. My idea for a band is centered around being that type of group. I want to explore time signatures, harmonies, modes, keys, etc., and weave it into a popular, accessible sound. The lyrics would have to be poetic and have redemptive eternal qualities in order to make it a well-rounded engaging experience. I would also like it to be very flexible in terms of how it could be heard. It would have to be large enough to manage complex harmonies and such, but small enough to be a local band side project. I was thinking mainly an acoustic sound, maybe one electric guitar and electric bass. The big thing would be that instead of a drum kit, it would have a multi-person percussion section. By using hand drums, chimes, tambourines, hand claps, and pretty much any other rhythm oriented thing, it would be a completely different sound than what we're used to in pop music, and would also be easy to build up and scale down depending on the venue. The only other part I have considered is that I want it to be very real and honest. Not a lot of effects, electronics, samples, or anything...just people, music, and rhythm. I want it to have a very "earthy" or "raw feel to it. The solo CDs I have put out reflect that concept as well. I already have some songs written, just need some friends now.

At any rate, that's what has been going on inside my brain these last few weeks. I'm compiling a list of influences in the meantime. Perhaps one day...until then...happy listening. And do yourself a favor, go buy The Fire Theft and let it wash over you like a gentle tide on a warm spring evening. Goodnight.

Where Fishes Go

2010-09-21T21:23:00.004-04:00

Like most bands, Live has received their fair share of acclaim and criticism. But part of conversation surrounding their music has to do with their use of Christian themes. While I won't give you a full report on their theology or even my opinions, I will encourage you to take a quick glance at the lyrics below to their song "Where Fishes Go" off the album The Distance to Here.

"He opened up my mouth, looked down my throat

Told me I was thirsty

He said, I been, I been, I been

Been in this water all my life

Never took the time to breathe...

Watcha doin' in this darkness baby,

When you know that love will set you free?

Will you stay in the sea forever,

Drownin' there for all eternity?

Watcha doin' in this darkness baby,

Livin' down where the sun don't shine?

Come on out into the light of love

Don't spend another day livin' in the sea"

Recently, God looked down my throat and told me I was thirsty. Anyone else been living in "the sea" for too long?

...and takes away.

2010-09-05T11:38:00.006-04:00

The sky seemed to start falling down this week. There were a couple rough days of work, I got pretty sick, had to bail on the Praise Festival this weekend, and worst of all we had to say goodbye to one of our dogs on Thursday.

Echo was one of the sweetest, gentlest, and loving dogs I have ever known. Her warmth will be dearly missed while sitting on the couch, and her mad dashes for the refrigerator for "water biscuits" will always be loud and clear in our hearts. We love you, princess.

While it has been a very taxing week both emotionally and physically, it has also been a time to reset and evaluate. More thoughts on that to come.

He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away.

A Triumphant Return

2010-08-30T16:28:00.006-04:00

It seems that I have left this blog unattended for way, way too long. Things have been a little crazy lately (quick pause for a collective "you're telling me"), and so I have been lazy getting to writing. But with the change in seasons approaching - leaves about to change colors, the cooling of the air - I am going to try and make a change as well. I won't make any promises, but I will do my best to be on here with at least a weekly post and a post of lyrics/poetry. But this isn't just about me.

For quite some time I have had a desire and an increasingly clearer vision of how to take writing, music, art, and conversation and integrate them into a fluid friendship. When I play a concert, or sell a CD, my hope is that people will be inspired to think and share those thoughts. And hopefully that in turn would bring them to a friend, writing a blog, poetry, music, art, etc. I would love to be part of those conversations, but the most important thing is simply that they happen. If all we do as Christians, and especially as creative Christians, is go to a concert, art gallery, or poetry reading and see that as the end, then there is something wrong. That should be a jumping off point, a diving board that we thrust ourselves off of into the giant refreshing waters of conversation, creativity, and discipleship. We are called to share burdens, to pray for one another, to break bread together. My prayer is that if I put energy into making CD's, writing blogs, playing concerts, and writing poetry and books (in the fairly distant future...) that someone will connect with one, and then be opened up to all the others. Not only that, but feel the freedom and eager invitation to join in the fun. So please, share poetry in a post, share your own blogs, plug your own music and concerts, direct us to your photography pages, and any and everything else, because your expression is important, and we need to hear it.

I also wanted to be sure and thank all of the wonderful people who were at the "Star in His Crown 2010 Talent Search" in Boone, NC last weekend. It was truly an honor to share the stage with so many talented musicians. I got the opportunity to meet a lot of great people and I sincerely hope to see all of you again. Check out the music of Relentless Flood, Forever Yours, Marshall Daniels, and Dreaming in Color as soon as you get the chance (sorry I don't have links for all of them). I have the privilege of sharing the prize of playing at the 2011 High Country Praise Festival with Marshall Daniels and his awesome band.

I will be on again later in the week to update you about what's going on this weekend, but for now just check out the information to the right of your screen about the updated shows list. I will also be updating my MySpace page with new music for your listening pleasure. I hope this finds you well.

Peace.

Thirst

2010-05-25T01:22:00.001-04:00

The Hands that made the Earth

Can surely break this heart

The Blood that fills this cup

Can make me thirst again

Oh Fall...

2009-11-18T13:53:00.004-05:00

After a short reminder of Summer warmth and the fruits of Spring, we have returned to the overcast, drizzly gray weather of Fall's retreat into Winter. Not long ago I was driving with the windows down in shorts and a t-shirt, but warm layers and "Thank God's" for heaters have taken their place. And for better or for worse, my mood seems to follow the weather patterns rather closely. Joy has been hard to find recently. My soul mirrors the backyard with painful resemblance; decaying remnants of once flourishing plants, leaves littering the grass as reminders of what once was, and a cool breeze that smarts of the long winter to come. While that metaphor may be a bit dramatic, I think it holds a good bit of truth. The change in seasons is a good reminder. There are some bands out there who have done a good job of capturing a similar sentiment. Perhaps my favorite is from the group Gratitude: "Oh Fall, you're a comfortable lover, but I just can't take all the decay." I tried my hand at my own:

There is nothing

Quite like Falling

Vibrant colors

All around

Where we once were

What we will be

Constant rhythms

Keep us home

We start to change

The colors fade

What is to become of us?

Decaying sign

Of better days

First we must come

Crashing down

But no matter what happens, we always have the assurance that we shall see the sun again. New life will sprout, clouds will clear, the warmth will return. Yes, we shall see the Son again.

Iron Man

2009-11-02T15:36:00.003-05:00

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17). My take on that verse used to be quite limited. I understood it mostly just in terms of religious pursuits and mortification of sin. While those are certainly parts of the sharpening process, I have discovered another.

Recently I felt compelled to take financial matters into my own hands and pursue any part-time job I could find. After having door after door slammed in my face, one finally opened. Only two days passed and I felt that something was very, very wrong. I realized that there was absolutely nothing about that job that was related to me, my passions, my pursuits, my talents, my skills, or my goals. Part of that realization came from a co-worker at that job, who has absolutely no idea that he had such an impact on my life. He only spoke a couple of sentences, but that was all it took for reality to come flooding into my mind, heart, strength, and soul. By the grace of God, I am out of that job and already hired in a field that is directly related to my passions, pursuits, talents, skills, and goals. I would be foolish to say more, as I have not worked my first day yet. But still, the promise that it holds alone is tenfold over the other.

My girlfriend also played an important role in this whole process. She is constantly voicing truth to me in so many ways, even though I don't listen to her very well. She acts as a light to my darkness, a shelter to my chaos.

This period in life has also reunited me with an old friend. We have always remained strong friends even though we haven't had much time to interact for the last four years. Again, by the grace of God, we are experiencing similar circumstances and feelings, which has sparked a fire in our hearts that cannot be ignored. As a result, we are both working towards goals and seeking dreams that otherwise would have quite possibly been left to wither and fade.

To all three of these peculiar versions of prophets, I owe a great deal of thanks. I have learned that community means much more than the people you like, "man" sharpening "man" does not mean "male" sharpening "male," and that perseverance does not take on a lesser value if done alone. The clanging of spiritual iron is not confined to things that bear the label "accountability" or "small group." In addition to those, and perhaps stronger than them, are the angels in our midst; angels that more resemble resented co-workers or untimely rainy days than white, winged, harp-playing children.

Keep your eyes open for angels - they're everywhere. Keep your iron hot - you never know when you might get struck.

God bless.

Last Night = HUGE Success

2009-10-10T21:06:00.003-04:00

First off - thank you so much to everyone who came to the benefit concert last night. It was a HUGE success and I hope everyone had as much fun as I did. There was lots of great music - check out Motive for Motion if you ever get a chance, good guys and good music - lots of great food and drinks, and best of all...lots of great people. I made some friends and hope you all did too. Perhaps we shall meet again, hopefully in the not so distant future!

I would also like to thank everyone who bought CDs. It blows my mind every time that someone buys one, and I hope that it blesses you to listen to it as much as it blesses me to make it. You are supporting so many things by purchasing them, and especially last night when some of the proceeds went to Why the Woods. If you didn't get a chance to buy one - just comment and I can certainly take care of that!

Most importantly, God was there with us. Everything that was said, sung, and prayed is for His glory.

So by all means...new and old friends alike...keep in touch via this blog, myspace, facebook, etc., and great things are sure to happen!

Community

2009-10-03T13:48:00.002-04:00

It's been a long time since I have posted, but the good news is that the reason I haven't is because a lot has been happening. Due to sorting out logistics in regards to school, jobs (or lack there of), church, recording, shows, etc., my time for blogging has been pretty slim. But I do have a few thoughts to share with the world of cyberspace if you don't mind...

After years of random phone calls and emails, I finally got the chance to reconnect with a very good friend from high school. We sat on the patio of a restaurant one night and discussed everything from personal life to philosophy to examining the effects of a post-modern society on the college population. One thread that ran through the latter topic was that of community. We were both amazed at how much technology has developed even in our lifetime, but also interested in the fact that some of the biggest websites today are social networking sites. Our world is one in which you can almost be entirely self-sufficient - able to learn just about anything online, purchase anything you want online, instant gratification in many ways - and yet what is the one thing that the majority of people reach for online? Community. Yet I would argue that we are starved for community even though we have access to it 24/7 at our fingertips.

It wasn't a coincidence that Adam was lonely even with all the animals of Eden. It wasn't because they hadn't invented Skype that church meant gathering together in one place with other believers. No, community is an essential part of the human experience. Community is about sharing in the struggles and joys of everyday life, helping one another, human interaction and contact, and the pursuit of things greater than ourselves. Community is not about how many wall posts you have, MySpace hits, or followers on Twitter. Hiding behind a cell phone or computer screen makes it easy to forget about what true community looks like. And besides, it means you get to do it all on your own time. Don't want to talk to John Smith right now? You don't have to! Don't want to disappoint your best friend by telling him you can't come to his birthday? Just hit "not attending" on the Facebook invite! Now, I have a Facebook and a MySpace, and I too do all of these things and more. And yes I am well aware of the benefits that it provides us. But it is important to remember a balance, and that while there are things that it helps us with, there are also dangers that it presents.

In a time of economic trouble, it has been interesting to watch as people begin to band together. We are all sharing in a national financial situation. I'm not sure there's a stronger bond forming agent than adversity. We are struggling together. And it is a time when churches, neighborhoods, offices, and whole cities would do well to pay attention to their communities, and to what it means to be a friend, neighbor, co-worker, pastor, brother, etc. The new CD I have been working on is partly inspired by these things. I will go into more detail in a later post after the CD is released, but for right now let me just say that everything from the message in the music to the products used for the packaging are meant to support and encourage community. Reply to a blog, attend a concert, write an email, call up an old friend, start a Bible study, volunteer at a homeless shelter, tutor... Whatever form it may take on for you, all I care about is that you are involved in the multiple communities to which you belong. Community cultivates humility, healthy suffering, service, and joy, among many other things. It is the way we understand God, it is how He chose to be with us, and it is the way in which we can strive towards sanctification in the face of trial.

So to my online community and beyond, thank you for being there for me, and I pray that the mercy I have had extended to me might be extended in return to all those in need. Extend community and all that entails, as Robert Benson would say in his fantastic book A Good Neighbor, "To those who have been given to you, and to those whom you have been given."

New Shows Added!!!

2009-09-16T14:53:00.003-04:00

I hope this post finds you all well. Two new shows have just been added and can be seen at the right side of your screen.

The first is at a Shakespeare & Co., a wonderful little bookstore/coffee shop in Kernersville. Come out and enjoy a great cup of coffee or smoothie, check out their excellent selection of books, and enjoy friends and music. I have also heard that there is a wine bar nearby as well as a beautiful courtyard - so pray for nice weather...but no matter what the weather is like, it will be a night you will not want to miss!

The second show listed is at Son's Light Coffee House in Boone, which I highlighted in my previous post, and it is a benefit concert for Why the Woods - which I also highlighted below, so please check out their websites. I am not kidding when I say this place is phenomenal. I absolutely love being in Boone (especially in the Fall!), being with these great people, and I am amazed every time at how supportive they are of local music. So take a road trip, make a weekend vacation of it, do whatever you want but you should definitely be there Friday night!!! Great cause, great people, great coffee, great music, great fun.

More details on that show soon...other artists...new songs revealed...keep checking back for updates!!!

God bless.

Son's Light Ministries and Why The Woods

2009-09-08T14:05:00.003-04:00

It has come to my attention that I have not posted anything in quite some time. After thousands of emails complaining about such a catastrophe, the new post is finally here.

I recently had the opportunity to attend the High Country Praise Festival in Boone, NC and had a great time. There was good music, engaging speakers, and most importantly - great people. The event was put on by Son's Light Ministries, and if you have a spare few minutes I would highly recommend you taking the time to check out their website to learn more about what they do. Everyone involved in that ministry is truly a servant of the Lord and they are all really, really great people. Son's Light is also very involved with another ministry called Why The Woods, and here is their Mission Statement straight from their website:

"WhyTheWoods is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization passionate about showing the Love spoken and lived by Jesus Christ. Our mission is to enable others to pull themselves out of poverty and/or hopelessness by empowering them with Love, Hope, and Knowledge. We go into the woods, the wilderness, the jungles, the deserts, the mountains, the city streets, and beyond to show others His love and His peace."

It is a ministry that was started by Billy Riddle, an Appalachian State University football player and senior this year who is such a great guy and has already done so much for many people. I have had the privilege and honor of playing a couple of benefit concerts at Son's Light Coffee House for Why The Woods and would not trade those experiences for the world. With the money raised from those events, they have already provided the people from the village of Wadupe in Sudan with clean drinking water - and that is just the beginning. They are focusing their efforts now on providing education for the village. Please take time to learn about the great things God is doing and to find ways of helping out.

So if you're ever in Boone, make a point to stop by Son's Light Coffee and say hi, they would love to see you. Take care.

2009-08-22T08:46:00.002-04:00

One day of Divinity School Orientation down, three to go. As with any type of orientation, there was a ton of information thrown at us all at once, but as a whole I walked away feeling like I was a little more prepared than when I first showed up. All of the professors and incoming students were approachable and excited for the new semester. Today there is a student panel, so we are sure to get the E! True Hollywood Story version of Divinity School by actual students. Sunday evening we have dinner with the Dean, and then finally on Monday we register for classes.

So nothing too terribly exciting in this post, but as I get further into school, this will be a perfect place for me to share what I've learned and ask some tough questions for us to think about and discuss. I heard several times yesterday during orientation that the Divinity School experience is just as much about community as it is about the classroom - and that means community on and off campus. I really appreciate all of your support and will hopefully have a more exciting report coming soon!

(And make sure you check out the new show listed to the right of your screen!)

Music Monday

2009-08-17T13:28:00.002-04:00

It's Monday once again...or should I say "funday"...and that means more music!

Suggested Listening: Better Than Ezra - "Closer"

These guys have been around since 1988, and are from the great state of Louisiana. They have gone through some changes (including the death of one of their members), but are still going strong with their own sweet blend of southern rock. One of their biggest hits, "Good," came off of their 1993 release Deluxe, but I find Closer to be a much more accessible and listener-friendly record. First released in 2001, Closer has a stellar track list and excellent audio production. Seriously, start at track 1 ("Misunderstood") and listen straight through to the end. This is truly a solid album that I would recommend to fans of any genre. "A Lifetime," is a story about a girl dying in a car crash on her way to graduation. It is a sad story, but the song is inspirational, and I guarantee you will not be disappointed. If nothing else, listen to both tracks that feature DJ Swamp - "Extraordinary," and "Recognize" - you'll be glad you did.

Grade: A

Notable New Releases for Aug. 18:

Third Eye Blind – “Ursa Major”

Reba McEntire – “Keep On Loving You”

Sister Hazel – “Release”

Colin Hay – “American Sunshine”

MUTEMATH – “Armistice”

Happy listening!!!

Wake up, O sleeper, and rise from the dead...

2009-08-13T13:15:00.002-04:00

"The last thing the faithful wish for is to be disturbed." --Peter J. Gomes

My heart grows more weary every time I read that quote. The truth of it is an anchor that threatens to pin the Church to the ocean floor. It has become increasingly more common to hear discussions about "Americanized Christianity" and the way our church communities have become nothing more than neighborhood Novocain dealers to help us make it through another week. Surely there are exceptions to this (possibly) exaggerated accusation, but the point must be made nonetheless. We want church, and even God for that matter, to work for us. We want the songs that make us feel worshipful, we want the service to end in time to beat the lunch crowds, we want Bible study to begin and end in the classroom, and we want sermons that inspire us just enough so that we can admit to ourselves we know the right things to do...but not so much that we discipline ourselves to change our ways. We have found insipid safety of routine and hung a big fat "Do Not Disturb" sign on every sanctuary door, altar, and crucifix.

Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead...

The contributing factors to our paralyzed state are too numerous to count, but include such things as the influence of media, widespread use and advancement of technology, increase in self-dependency, and even downright ignorance. And ignorance, I believe, is the problem that every church has the ability and responsibility to address. Small groups and Sunday school have been compared to "spiritual daycare" (Gomes again), music ministers' and worship leaders' artistry has moved from music to manipulation, and pastors/preachers/ministers have become timid enough that the church is more about comfort than transformation. I am not convinced it is the fault of the church leadership, in fact I am almost convinced that they are not even the half of it. I believe a major contributing factor to these digressions is the powerful voice of the congregations. If people are not "getting out of church" what they want, their voices are loud and clear and are all but impossible to ignore. However, that being said, the leadership and laity must necessarily work together in order to restore sustenance and meaning to their church communities. Which brings us back to one of my proposed solutions: education. If the church could provide the opportunity for people to become educated, provide them with opportunities to experience, and provide purposed community involvement, I suspect we would see some life breathed back into our congregations. When the congregation can articulate why a service is ordered the way it is, or have a very very very basic comprehension of church history or doctrinal beliefs or the religions of the world, or see how every song, prayer, Scripture reading, sermon subject, and Bible study topics are interwoven to create a holistic learning and spiritual experience, the Awesomeness and utter Majesty of God will be all the more real. It is only in His infinite wisdom and grace that we should venture forward in these things.

I feel free to say all this because I too am guilty of complacency, comfort, and ignorance. This is a call born out of finding myself as Lazarus did, in the dank back corner of a tomb with the voice of Jesus Christ telling me to come out. I need a community and a church to help me hear that voice, and what I have said here is a collection of thoughts that have been brewing over the last few years. There are probably things I have overstated or am wrong about, but there is also so much more to be discussed and explored. I once heard a sermon that asked the question, "Are we looking at Jesus in a glass case, or feeling His breath on our face?" Please, please entreat me as I entreat you: Wake up O sleeper...

Music Monday

2009-08-10T12:43:00.006-04:00

Welcome back to Music Monday! Boy are you in for a treat...

Suggested Listening: Ray LaMontagne - "Till the Sun Turns Black"

This is Ray's sophomore release from 2006 that absolutely blew me away. His raspy, sincere voice is what he is known for, and there is good reason for that. It has a lot of tonal qualities that can effortlessly send him from a soft acoustic love ballad to a grooving blues jam. The album opens with "Be Here Now," a sweeping epic piece that makes me want to lay down in a field of flowers. "Three More Days," and "You Can Bring Me Flowers" mark two of the more upbeat parts of the album, the latter having one of my favorite lines on the album - "You can bring me flowers, baby, when I'm dead and gone." "Lesson Learned" is by far the most powerful song lyrically on the album, and I highly highly suggest you listen to it. The record closes with "Within You," a fitting end to a very well planned track list. If you like folk/blues/acoustic then Ray LaMontagne needs to be at the top of your listening list. Besides...who can say no to a beard like Ray's?

Grade: A

Finally, here are the Notable New Releases for this week:

The Roots – "How I Got Over"

Showbread - "The Fear of God"

George Strait – "Twang"

Starflyer 59 - "Ghosts of the Past"

Willie Nelson – "Lost Highway"

Thrice – "Beggars" (exclusive iTunes release 8/11 – follow up physical release 9/15)

Enjoy and happy listening!

Funday

2009-08-08T14:06:00.003-04:00

The other day I saw a weekly pill organizer. I'm sure you all know the kind I'm talking about: there is a box for each day of the week. On the top of each box, there is a letter indicating which day of the week the pills are for. So the top reads as follows: SMTWTFS. That's when I got to thinking...

People are always talking about how terrible Mondays are. All the time I hear people complaining about how much they hate Mondays, or how great it is when Monday is a holiday, or they have a "terrible case of the Mondays." Well...what if perhaps, we changed the name of Monday to Funday. It has nearly the same sound, but instead of striking fear and dread into the hearts of millions, it would put a huge smile on their faces. Then, everyone would be just a wee bit more excited to arrive at Funday at the end of a fun weekend.

And the icing on the cake is that the initials of the days of the week become a palindrome:

SFTWTFS.

Oh the wonders of the human mind...

Music Monday

2009-08-03T14:20:00.006-04:00

Welcome to the first installment of a new weekly (or biweekly?) feature I like to call Music Monday. The world of music is so diverse and so incredibly huge that it can often be intimidating, which often scares people into an aural straightjacket of overplayed 8-tracks and repetitive radio tunes. The idea behind Music Mondays is to educate, communicate, and liberate minds and ears to the resplendent sound waves of musical men and women from around the world - and even right here in the Triad. Between album reviews and new release listings, concert reviews and updates, suggested listening, and thoughts on music theory and its impact, there is sure to be something for everyone's taste.

Concert Review - B.A.S.I.C.

Last night I got the opportunity to go listen to B.A.S.I.C. (Brothers And Sisters In Christ) at a free show at First Baptist Church on W. Friendly Ave. Advertised as a Christian Funk/Rock band, the group consisted of 7 members - male lead vocal/guitar; female lead vocal; female keys/bgv; male saxophone/bgv, drums, bass, electric gtr - and an occasional guest musician on various brass instruments. The show was originally scheduled to be outside, but was moved indoors because of the weather. Personally, I think that was for the better because the sound was mixed very well, which would have been a challenge in the outdoor space they had. The Fellowship Hall was a great place for the show, complete with food and drink, and a lot of people there to support the music. The first few tunes had a great groove to them with excellent vocal jazz harmonies. Then they pulled out some CCM tunes (think Blessed Be Your Name, Mighty to Save, Open the Eyes of My Heart, etc.) and put their own reggae/jazz/funk twist to them. It wa

s nice to hear a fresh take on some old worship standards - which also gave the crowd a chance to sing and worship with them - but I was really hoping to hear some more originals. While the band was tight as a whole, the male lead could have been a lot stronger. In the end, the musicianship of the bassist, female lead, saxophonist, and drummer stood out above the rest. I give them some props for coupling CCM with this genre and putting their own unique spin on it. From their comments and general stage presence, they seem like great people and they love what they do. Unfortunately I could not find any website or info for them, but if you hear of another free show and have nothing else to do, you should definitely check it out.

The Grade: B-

Suggested Listening - The Secret Machines: "Now Here is Nowhere"

Since 2000, The Se cret Machines have been rocking stages and stereos around the world.

Most often described as mixing psychedelic/experimental music (i.e. Pink Floyd) with more modern driving rock music, they have come to know themselves as "space rock." This is evident in their 2004 full length debut album, "Now Here is Nowhere." The epic 9 minute first track, "First Wave Intact," hits hard with a driving beat and haunting melody that will have your head nodding in no time. "The Leaves are Gone" comes in as Track 3 with ambient sounds and vocals loaded with reverb, making you feel as though you're about to orbit Saturn. "Nowhere Again" follows that, their biggest hit to date. After a few twists and turns, you arrive at the incredible Track 7, "You Are Chains," which has lyrics reminiscent to Plato's "Allegory of the Cave" that you are undoubtedly going to want to reflect on - "When you are chained with a chain with an iron ring bound to a rock on which you stand, so large you can't see from its surface......If you hadn't come when you did, I might still believe I was never in chains." They also just recently put out their 3rd full length which I have unfortunately not had the chance to check out yet. But do yourself a favor and check out this album.

Notable Tracks: 1, 2, 4, 7

The Grade: A-

If you like this concept, checked out the music, know of any shows, or anything at all, please comment and let us know. Remember: local people make local artists possible. God bless.

Meditation

2009-07-23T11:35:00.003-04:00

Over my four years at college, I became familiar and increasingly fond of the contemplative tradition. I had the privilege to be taught about practices ancient and new, as well as to participate in current debates about contemplative thought and spirituality. The contemplative tradition is too vast and rich to outline here, but this timeline is a fairly decent introduction to the history of spirituality and contemplative thought. One of the more practical and extremely beneficial things I learned from studying this tradition was the practice of meditation.

Real quick: meditation is often a tough word for many people, myself included. So perhaps a few clarifying statements are in order. First, meditation is often thought of as being a strictly Eastern practice. While the Eastern tradition is rich with meditation practices (some of which are heavily borrowed from even in our Christian tradition), it is not limited to just those religions or traditions. In fact, if you check out the timeline mentioned above, you will see that the Christian tradition is rich with meditation practice back even to the Biblical period. Second, the goal of meditation is not always "nothingness" or "total disconnection." Again, there are certain traditions in which that is the primary focus/goal, but that does not encompass the fullness and richness of a meditative lifestyle. I would even go so far as to say that Christian meditation practice is indeed the opposite of "emptiness" - it actually cultivates the heart, mind, and soul for compassion, peace, patience, worship, and life to its fullest in the fullness of Christ. Finally, meditation used to bring images of people in robes sitting in the lotus position in rooms full of candles to my mind. Once again, those practices do exist in this diverse world, but that does not restrict meditation practice to such an environment. There are meditation practices that can be done for hours in the solitude of ones own room, and there are practices that can be done in the short moments you are sitting at a stoplight (and those practices are oftentimes designed to be done that way!).

What it comes down to is that we have become disconnected from this and many other traditions of Christianity. I hope to have cleared up a few things in the paragraph above, because all too often people place meditation within Buddhism and leave it at that. But if we can educate ourselves on the subject, I firmly believe that it will open up our hearts to the Spirit in a lot of new and exciting ways. I am a firm believer that we cannot know where we are going unless we know where we have been, and I find it very unfortunate that this part of our rich Christian heritage has been left out of many communities of faith. Not everyone may have room in their prayer life or their personality for meditation, but I at least believe in letting people have the option. So here is an example meditation and a few resources to get you started:

Counting Your Breaths: Sit with your back straight and hands relaxed in your lap. If you are sitting in a chair, place both feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes and allow yourself to slow down. If a thought comes into your mind, do not try and blot it out, but simply let it come in and let it go out, as if it were a scrolling marquee at the bottom of a television screen. Take in a deep breath, letting the air reach deep into the belly and expanding the diaphragm, and then let it out. That is breath one. Keep a mental note of which breath you are on, and if you get distracted and forget, start over at one. You might be surprised how hard it is to get to ten! What this does is help center your mind and allow you to focus on simply being present. I would also recommend reading/meditating on two verses for this practice as well: Genesis 2:7 and Matthew 6:25-34. We are reminded of the breath of God entering our nostrils and giving us life, as well as to be present here today. We are not to be anxious, for the Lord provides us with all we need to live today.

Resources:

"The Sacred Art of Lovingkindess," Rabbi Rami Shapiro

"What Christians Can Learn From Buddhists About Suffering," Gordon Peerman

"Always We Begin Again," John McQuiston II

"Soul Making," Alan Jones

Other contemplative authors such as: Thomas Merton, Thomas Moore, Frederick Buechner, or Marjorie Thompson

I am highly interested in starting a meditation group. Something that would meet maybe once a month for an hour or two. We would have handouts on contemplative and meditative thought and practice, time for discussions, and most importantly a time of meditation. If anyone is interested please let me know and we can try and get this started. Like I said, I highly recommend this to any and everyone. There will certainly be more posts about meditation in the future, as this was already longer than I intended and there is just so much more to say. Happy meditating!

Sunburn - The Light of His Glory

2009-07-19T14:02:00.004-04:00

I want to say a big, big, big thank you to everyone who came out to the show at Tate St. Coffee last night. Joe Next Door and I really appreciated all the support from those who made the trek out to Greensboro, as well as from those who wanted to be there but could not. I know I had a blast, Joe Next Door had a blast, and we hope you did too. Local people make local artists possible.

Also, to those who might be visiting the blog for the first time, take a look at the very first post on here if you have a moment. It offers a sort of "vision statement" for the blog and the music at the bottom of the page.

Last night I played the song Sunburn, which is on the CD, but is a rarity for me in a live set. It is one of the more cryptic and personal songs that I have written. Because of that, I wanted to post the lyrics so that it might make a little more sense, and hopefully bring the deeper meaning to the surface.

Sunburn

I found you there in the farthest reaches of my consciousness

Searching for God knows what

You reached out to me like I was a beggar in the gutter

You came at me like a punch to the gut

You said, "My love will sting like a sunburn."

"I won't offer much in return..."

"But I will love you just the same. I will love you just the same."

You took me down all the darkest roadways and alleys

Showed me things I had never seen

And as a mime, I could say that I hate you

But I think you know just what I mean

"My love will sting like a sunburn."

"I won't offer much in return..."

"But I will love you just the same. I will love you just the same."

Let your love shine down, let me see the love I know

Let your love shine down, let me see and let me know, that..

Your love will sting like a sunburn

"I won't offer much in return..."

"But I will love you just the same."

"And my love will hurt like a rug-burn."

"But we live and we learn...

and I will love you just the same. I will love you just the same."

"I will love you just the same."

I found you there in the farthest reaches of my consciousness

Searching for God knows what...

The very beginning stages of this song were inspired by a sermon I once heard, in which the pastor likened God's love to getting hugged while you're sunburned; there is pain, but through love. In a similar way, God takes us in His embrace, and we feel the effects of sin sizzling on our skin in the Light of His Glory. Another great image to describe this type of occurrence is in C.S. Lewis' The Voyage of the Dawn Treadder, when Aslan "un-dragons" Eustace (coincidentally mentioned in the sermon this morning!). So this song is about God taking me on an introspective journey into my impure mind and broken heart. The chorus is a conversation that ensues after being shown my brokenness between God and myself. He says to me, "My love will sting like a sunburn," suggesting somewhat the cost of love and discipline. My response is grateful but afraid (after seeing my condition) that I will not receive this amazing love, "I won't offer much in return..." Then the true joy comes with His response,

"But I will love you just the same."

That is the best news we could ever hope to hear. No matter what has been done, or left undone, His blood covers all, and His steadfast love endures forever. Each word is purposeful, and I could ramble on and on explaining each detail, but I fear that would actually do more harm than good. So I hope this illuminates the song a little more, but more so I pray that we can constantly remind one another of this simple yet essential truth.

Thanks again to all those who came and listened, talked, got a CD or card, and let me share my songs - I am forever grateful.

...there your heart will be also.

2009-07-15T14:36:00.016-04:00

At my church we are moving through a sermon series on the Seven Deadly Sins. This coming week is on greed, or avarice. The image is Punishment of the Avaricious and the Prodigal, a woodcut by Gustave Doré (1890). Doré has a series of images that were done to accompany Dante's Inferno, which can be viewed here if you're interested. The scene depicted by Doré caught my attention for several reasons. First, all of the men look like they are in a great deal of pain, or at the very least exerting most of their energy. Second, the destination is not in the frame, which suggests to me that there is a possibility that there isn't one. Third, I thought they were pushing boulders, until I saw the central figure's burden has a rip in it that is dropping coins. And finally, none of their faces are fully visible. Their hidden countenances made it a lot easier for me to see my own on their weary and burdened bodies.

In a time when the economy is at the worst it has been in my lifetime, and occurring when I am fresh out of college and supposed to be entering the "real world," it has been quite easy for me to spend most of my days worrying about storing up treasures for my future on this planet. I openly admit, and feel that I am in good company, that I have a very real fear of the future and not having money. When we live in a world where we are told constantly by every form of media possible that money can buy happiness, it's hard not to notice the thinness of your wallet. So my solution is to try and accumulate as much as possible, and to hoard and make it last as long as possible. Part of me knows I have enough for essentials and the means to survive, but the other part of me wants to be certain that I will not be empty. But judging by the look of Doré's nine men, not even money will provide happiness and fullness of life. Perhaps Doré wanted to suggest in his depiction of greed that money can easily be mistaken for mere stone, and in the end will be worth just as much. Perhaps Doré wanted the viewer to notice that these men have no faces because their identity is more accurately displayed by their possessions. Where is our identity found? Where is our security found? What are we laboring for, and for whose glory?

²²Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. ²³Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. ²⁴Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ²⁶Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? --Luke 12:22-26

This passage is quite easy to read, and fairly simple to comprehend, yet I have the hardest time living it. My anxiety and fear of the future gets out of control easily, and I put my full weight on my own strength and understanding, leaving me face down on the floor. The Lord truly is the provider, sustainer, and fulfiller of all things. Luke 12 is a great place to be reminded of that. Just as Doré's men provide each other with company in their pursuit of storing up riches, so too do we need each other to support us in the pursuit of His face, all the while seeking to store up treasure in the Eternal Places. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Luke 12:34).

This story has both humbled and encouraged me. As I leave you with this, I hope it does the same.

Around the end of the nineteenth century, a tourist from the United States visited the famous Polish rabbi Hafez Hayyim. He was astonished to see that the rabbi's home was just a simple room filled with books. The only furniture was a table and a bench.

"Rabbi, where is your furniture?" asked the tourist.

"Where is yours?" replied Hafez.

"Mine? But I'm only a visitor here."

"So am I," said the rabbi.

(Taken from The Spirituality of Imperfection by Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham, New York: Bantam Books, 1992, p. 34)

There are two I's in ministry...

2009-07-13T15:34:00.003-04:00

I have been reading The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen this summer, and came across this quote:

"The Christian leader, minister or priest, is not one who reveals God to his people - who gives something he has to those who have nothing - but one who helps those who are searching to discover reality as the source of their existence. In this sense we can say that the Christian leader leads man to confession, in the classic sense of the word: to the basic affirmation that man is man and God is God, and that without God, man cannot be called man. In this context pastoral conversation is not merely a skillful use of conversational techniques to manipulate people into the Kingdom of God, but a deep human encounter in which a man is willing to put his own faith and doubt, his own hope and despair, his own light and darkness at the disposal of others who want to find a way through their confusion and touch the solid core of life."

I have a hard time recalling the exact location of Bible verses, my recall of the nuances in various Christian doctrines is not top notch, and I often find myself sympathizing with the pains and struggles of those around me rather than knowing what to say to help them through. My first instinct, then, is to say that I am not cut out for ministry. But over the last few years, and furthered now by Nouwen, my definition of ministry has been greatly expanded. If I can simply be present with someone, simply listen and engage them in where they are, then ministry is happening. I was with a friend recently, and all I did was be present and be myself, and by the end of the night I felt as though my soul had been nurtured, and my friend felt the same. My hope is that the music I write works in a similar fashion. I pray that people might listen and say, "Wow, I know that feeling..." At that point, ministry is happening, and two souls are meeting together in the embrace of the Spirit. There is a saying in a couple Eastern traditions that goes something like this:

"The divine in me meets the divine in you."

In other words, wherever two or more are gathered, there He is also. Any moment can be ministry. And the exciting thing is, it will probably be just as much ministry to your soul as it is to those present with you.

TONIGHT'S SHOW CANCELLED!!!

2009-07-11T19:23:00.001-04:00

Attention all! As you can see on the right side of your screen, tonight's show has been cancelled due to some mix-up in details. But have no fear, this just means that next week is going to be twice as awesome...so twice as many people should show up for twice the fun! Sorry for any inconveniences.

Also, look for a new post coming soon...

Tension and Transition

2009-07-05T17:06:00.004-04:00

IMPORTANT INFO:

Two shows have been added which can be viewed on the right hand side of your screen. I am opening for a great band made up of even greater guys. I got a chance to hear Joe Next Door at their EP release show last Saturday and they rocked the house. Be sure to check out their website here! I'll be starting at 8:00pm sharp on both dates so get there a little early. And if that isn't enough reason to come out and have a great time, you'll be able to support local businesses Maya Art Gallery and Tate Street Coffee as well. It is sure to be a night of music and fun so I hope to see you there!
The music you hear is provided by BandBox, a service dedicated to making music as available as possible with as little stress as possible. Soon, (which roughly translated means I have no idea when), the music will be available for download, so keep your eyes- and ears - open!

In other news...

My words are few at the present moment. But there are two words that have been persistent through the verbal drought: "tension" and "transition." And how often those words come hand in hand. For most of us the tension is in the transition of government, workplace, and/or family. For me specifically, I have found a lot of tension in the transition from college to home. Yet in most transitions, the tension comes not only from the difficulty of change in itself, but from the positives and negatives that lay on either side of us. Behind us are the joys of familiar places and sorrows of past mistakes, while in front of us are the excitement of new possibilities and the fear of uncharted territory. It's what Parker Palmer might call "standing in the gap." Perhaps it's what the Puritans meant by the "valley of vision." It is what I have come to know as the present. For where we are going cannot be the same place as where we stand. But we should take heart in knowing that the tension in transition means at least we are moving, and indeed should pray it is always so. I don't have a remedy for the pain, nor knowledge of what we'll face tomorrow. I have only a few encouraging words:

"It's true what they say, that we're all sinners. But one day we'll be made new. With His love shining down and His grace all around, wrapping His arms around you. Take heart and rise again, until then."

--From "Until Then" (listen below)

"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

--Psalm 61:1-2

Always We Begin Again

2009-07-02T11:28:00.003-04:00

Welcome to my official website!

It may not be apparent, but this site is many years in the making. For nearly eight years I have been struggling to discern what direction my music needed to take. After starting down many different avenues, multiple red lights have directed me here. Or should I say us...

"Us" is appropriate on many levels. 1) My girlfriend, Hazel, is as much a part of this as I am. We have become increasingly convinced over the last two years that our forces were meant to be combined in creating a multimedia ministry through music and visual art. Everything from album art to font choice (Hazel's specialty) has been done on purpose and is meant to point towards the greater goal. Which brings us to the next level of us...

2) It is not just about the music, art, or thoughts that we share, but it is more about the dialogue and shared struggles that I hope result from the music and writing. The goal of my music is not to advance me in the entertainment world as a musician or an artist, but to be a catalyst for conversations and reflection between individuals and within communities. If we aren't talking and meeting together, then what are we doing? I am but a participant in this; one member of a complex body.

3) Most importantly, all of this has only been possible by the grace and sovereignty of God. If it were left completely up to me, to us, the result would be empty at best. As we all participate in the human experience, it is imperative for us to constantly seek after the face of God. He is truly the Artist. But it is not enough to simply expect that we could sit idly by while He does everything. We are expected to be active participants in our own lives.

The hope is that this would be a plethora of music, art, poignant postings, and mindless musings collected in a humble effort to stumble along in this sacred journey. We will laugh, we will cry, it will be better than Cats. There will be lyrics posted, art displayed, humorous thoughts, and religious reflections that we hope will supplement the music and lyrics. And that is just the beginning...

In the spirit of the Benedictine Rule: "Always we begin again..." (Also the title of a great little book by John McQuiston that I highly recommend.)

Lap bars down. Arms in the air. Let's enjoy the ride.